6.7.26

6/7 day. Hardy Har Har.

I've been losing interest in hobbies so bad recently. I hate all the music I like. I hate doing art. I hate doing anything. I've felt the most depressed I've ever felt in my life but I started cleaning my bathroom on my own accord.

I was looking for a Paralives equivelent of Wicked Whims but there aren't any yet. Instead I found that there is a few incest mods already.

I'm terrible about cleaning my room because my room is very small and I don't see a point in cleaning the entirety of it. If I have a clear path from my door to my bed & desk, that's all I need.

I was very freaked out about who-knows-what last night and I struggled to fall asleep. Several days in a row now...

6.5.26

I'm sick of feeling lonely but i get really annoyed when I talk to people. i think i need to be treated like a foster animal. put a towel over my cage and talk to me through it.

I've been doing crafts. ill put them on here eventually

I stubbed my toe really bad on a sharp corner and it fucking pulled back some of my skin. blood everywhere

6.4.26

I randomly got very fixated on broken ribs last night and I couldn't fall asleep because my mind wouldn't shut up about how it would feel.

6.3.26

I never want to redo my site again oh my god this shit sucked. I need to finish some buttons but ooooooh i dont want to.

6.2.26

Note to self: Fix kaomoji gifs on site that don't work with the background color anymore & replace background color for gifypet.

Now working on applying new designs to site. my eye is twitching.

Working on designs for updating my site. Used a photo of a guy feeding pig shit to a man dressed in a gimp suit in my header heh heh heh

6.1.26

Cart & listening to throbbing gristle on my noise cancelling headphones. and using Tumblr. wow

Therapy is too expensive. Filling out self-ship forms.

A chili flake got under the post of my (still irritated) labret while I was eating. It hurt very bad.

My appetite has been very small for the past year. My diet is the same but I can't stomach full meals anymore. I lost a few pounds though. #depressiondiet

I'm feeling a little better today compared to the last few weeks. First of the month signifies a fresh start. I should shower today, too.

5.31.26

I practiced driving today. I'm basically ready for the roads, but I'm still getting comfortable going over 30MPH. Scary. My brother was being bitchy about me learning how to drive... in my car...? He got his learner's permit recently and he's suddenly very interested in the car. My dad's old car got totaled in an accident (he's okay) so it's a fight for my mom's car. Realistically, I'm getting it first because I'll need to get to & from work, but come on bruh!!!

My laptop updated overnight and it got stuck. Windows recovery repaired it. It was also scary. I've been meaning to install Linux for a while but I am a wuss

5.30.26

Smoked a little and sat with the rats. They're so freaky. I could've been born as one of these little dumpy things.

Should I make a section in my blog pages for Figure Reviews.. since I plan on making more in the future... hmm

5.29.26

got a hand-me-down cart from a beloved friend. i am so high listening to The Cure's Disintegration. Life is beautiful

I woke up at 9 am for the first time in a while. and I feel like shit.

I ate dinner at 11 PM instead of 2 AM last night and I felt strange for the rest of the night.

5.28.26

MY NICK DAKIS ARRIVED!!!!

I should watch Our Hero, Balthazar. Reheating Zero Day nachos but eeeh whatever. i haven't watched any new movies recently and I've only been rewatching stuff. In particular, I have rewatched the Human Centipede 2 several times this month.

I cut my bangs too short and now it's hard to straighten them.

I had the fear of a man getting hunted for sport and couldn't fall asleep last night because I had to respond to a message from a friend about my concerning behavior.

5.27.26

Made a microblog because umm como se dice i dont shut up. i don't know about the format this might change in the future.

I'm like 90% finished with my nick x hunter fic but i don't want to finish it. Nothing makes me hate my kinks more than trying to make art with them. I fuucckcking hate writing so god damn bad but I can't draw for shit. I've been working on a selfship fic as a pallete cleanser, but I've slowly stopped working on the hunter fic in favor for the self-ship fic. well. oops.

My fucking labret has been irritated for the past few days and the skin around where it nests has been tender and a little inflamed. fuuckk offfff and heal you are a 6 year old piercing.

I need to stop being so avoidant because it is very difficult and lonely and sad being ALONE!!! I'm not a fan of social media and especially fandom spaces. My social anxiety has become crippling in the last few months and i'm not ready for college or work currently. can god drop a piano on my head already.