I think the Human Centipede movies are really funny and I have poor taste. If I had the magical powers to make fictional characters real, this would be my centipede. I'll probably make this page look nicer... later.
Why these characters?
Postal Dude: Postal (1997): As a kid, I was enamored with horror & shooter games. I didn't have a computer to play it on, but I watched various Youtubers play Postal 1997 and I was hooked. Was having unrestricted Youtube access a mistake? Probably. But I love Postal 1 Dude, he's crazy and funny and I'd keep him as a pet.Martin Lomax: The Human Centipede 2 (2011): He's gross and creepy and I have maternal instincts towards him. I'd lock him in a cage and hose him down. And feed him bullshit from a can. I think the 2nd & 3rd Human Centipede movies are lazily made to capitalize off of the infamy of the first movie, but the 2nd movie has some redeeming qualities, such as Martin.
Nick: Left 4 Dead 2 (2009): I love him and I want him to suffer. Technically, the middle person suffers the most because they have ass & mouth surgery, but I think Nick's true hell would be having to eat the shit of two people. Hence, he gets to be last! You can't see his widdle face if it's all in Martin's ass, but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. I love him so much that I hate him and I want to make him cry.
Why the Centipede?
Why not? It came to me randomly when I was cleaning the rat cage, I thought it was funny and put this together rather quickly. The centipede is meant to be subserviant, humiliating, and punishing. I like to see my favorite characters suffer. You may have noticed that my centipede is all men, and it's because men don't suffer enough. Almost every horror movie featuring body modification & horror subjects female characters to fetishistic torture, and I feel it's only equal to make a centipede of only men, eh? Plus, I don't hate any of my favorite ladies enough to want to put them in the centipede.